His cheek Was rough His
chick vamoosed And now she won't Come home to roost
Burma-Shave |
The place to pass On curves
You know Is only at A beauty show Burma-Shave |
On curves ahead Remember,
sonny That rabbit's foot Didn't save The bunny
Burma-Shave |
Twinkle, twinkle One-eyed
car We all wonder WHERE you are Burma-Shave |
These signs We gladly
Dedicate To men who've had No date of late Burma-Shave |
A guy Who drives A car
wide open Is not thinkin' He's just hopin' Burma-Shave |
A whiskery kiss For the
one You adore May not make her mad But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave |
His brush is gone So what'll
we do Said Mike Robe I To Mike Robe II Burma-Shave |
If your peach Keeps out
Of reach Better practice What we preach Burma-Shave |
When Super-shaved Remember,
pard You'll still get slapped But not so hard Burma-Shave |
Burma-Shave Was such a boom
They passed The bride And kissed the groom |
To kiss A mug That's
like a cactus Takes more nerve Than it does practice
Burma-Shave |
The whale Put Jonah
Down the hatch But coughed him up Because he scratched
Burma-Shave |
Violets are blue Roses are
pink On graves Of those Who drive and drink Burma-Shave
|
Candidate says Campaign
Confusing Babies kiss me Since I've been using Burma-Shave |
My job is Keeping faces
clean And nobody knows De stubble I've seen Burma-Shave |
Doesn't Kiss you Like
she useter? Perhaps she's seen A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave |
No use Knowing How to
pick 'em If your half-shaved Whiskers stick 'em Burma-Shave |
He tried To cross As
fast train neared Death didn't draft him He volunteered
Burma-Shave |
Her chariot Raced 80 per
They hauled away What had Ben Her Burma-Shave |
She will Flood your face
With kisses 'Cause you smell So darn delicious Burma-Shave
Lotion |
Use Burma-Shave In tube
Or jar Then follow up With our new star Burma-Shave
Lotion |
It has a tingle And a
tang That starts The day off With a bang Burma-Shave Lotion
|
Bracing as An ocean
breeze For after shaving It's sure To please Burma-Shave Lotion
|
For early Morning Pep
and bounce A brand new product We announce Burma-Shave Lotion
|
The ladies Take one whiff
And purr-- It's no wonder Men prefer Burma-Shave
Lotion |
His face Was smooth And
cool as ice And oh! Louise! He smelled so nice Burma-Shave
Lotion |
I'd heard it praised By
drug store clerks I tried the stuff Hot dog! It works
Burma-Shave |
Train wrecks few Reason
clear Fireman Never hugs Engineer Burma-Shave |
Altho insured Remember,
kiddo They don't pay you They pay Your widow Burma-Shave
|
Train approaching Whistle
squealing Pause! Avoid that Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave |
Soap May do For lads
with fuzz But sir, you ain't The kid you wuz Burma-Shave |
Spring Has sprung The
grass has riz Where last year's Careless drivers is
Burma-Shave |
Cautious rider To her
Reckless dear Let's have less bull And lots more steer
Burma-Shave |
Big blue tube It's a
honey Best squeeze play For love Or money Burma-Shave |
Proper Distance To him
was bunk They pulled him out Of some guy's trunk Burma-Shave |
My cheek Says she
Feels smooth as satin Ha! Ha! Says he That's mine you're pattin'
Burma-Shave |
She eyed His beard And
said no dice The wedding's off-- I'll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave |
Unless Your face Is
stinger free You'd better let Your honey be Burma-Shave |
Another Red skin Bit
the dust When Pa tried What these signs discussed
Burma-Shave |
The band For which The
grand stand roots Is not made up of Substi-toots! Burma-Shave |
Substitutes Can do
More harm Than city fellers On a farm Burma-Shave |
Pat's bristles Scratched
Bridget's nose That's when Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave |
A beard That's rough And
overgrown Is better than A chaperone Burma-Shave |
The hobo Lets his
Whiskers sprout It's trains--not girls That he takes out
Burma-Shave |
Drinking drivers Don't you
know Great bangs From little Binges grow? Burma-Shave |
I know He's a wolf
Said riding hood But Grandma dear, He smells so good
Burma-Shave |
The wife Who keeps on
Being kissed Always heads Her shopping list Burma-Shave |
Is he Lonesome Or just
blind-- This guy who drives So close behind? Burma-Shave |
Pedro Walked Back home
by golly His bristly chin Was hot-to-Molly Burma-Shave |
Missin' Kissin'? Perhaps
your thrush Can't get thru The underbrush--try Burma-Shave |
Clancy's Whiskers
Tickle Nancy Nancy lowered the boom On Clancy! Burma-Shave |
A chin Where barbed
wire Bristles stand Is bound to be A no ma'ams land
Burma-Shave |
Leaves Face soft As
woman's touch Yet doesn't cost you Near as much Burma-Shave |
We can't Provide you
With a date But we do supply The best darn bait Burma-Shave
|
The wolf Is shaved So
neat and trim Red Riding Hood Is chasing him Burma-Shave |
Relief For faces
Chapped and sore Keeps 'em comin' Back for more Burma-Shave |
His Tomato Was the
mushy type Until his beard Grew over-ripe Burma-Shave |
Heaven's Latest
Neophyte Signalled left Then turned right Burma-Shave |
Better try Less speed per
mile That car May have to Last a while Burma-Shave |
To steal A kiss He had
the knack But lacked the cheek To get one back Burma-Shave |
We've made Grandpa Look
so trim The local Draft board's after him Burma-Shave |
Why is it When you Try
to pass The guy in front Goes twice as fast? Burma-Shave |
His rose Is wed His
violet blew But his sugar is sweet Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave |
She put A bullet Thru
his hat But he's had Closer shaves than that Burma-Shave |
5-star Generals
Privates 1st class Show equal rank In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave |
When you lay Those few cents
down You've bought The smoothest Shave in town Burma-Shave |
Substitutes Are like a
girdle They find some jobs They just Can't hurdle
Burma-Shave |
We're widely read And often
quoted But it's shaves Not signs For which we're noted
Burma-Shave |
Men who Have to Travel
light Find the 35 cent tube Just right Burma-Shave |
It gave McDonald That
needed charm Hello Hollywood Good-by farm Burma-Shave |
A shave That's real No
cuts to heal A soothing Velvet after-feel Burma-Shave |
Around The curve
Lickety-split It's a beautiful car Wasn't it? Burma-Shave |
Our fortune Is your
Shaven face It's our best Advertising space Burma-Shave |
If Crusoe'd Kept his chin
More tidy He might have found A lady Friday
Burma-Shave |
Feel your face As you ride
by Now don't You think It's time to try Burma-Shave |
If anything Will please
Your Jill A little jack For this jar will Burma-Shave |
That barefoot Chap
With cheeks of tan Won't let 'em chap When he's a man
Burma-Shave |
If variety Is what You
crave Then get A tuba Burma-Shave |
The bearded devil Is forced
To dwell In the only place Where they don't sell Burma-Shave
|
"No, no," She said To
her bristly beau "I'd rather Eat the mistletoe" Burma-Shave |
No matter The price No
matter how new The best safety device In your car is you
Burma-Shave |
He asked His kitten To
pet and purr She eyed his puss And screamed "What fur!"
Burma-Shave |
This cream Makes the
Gardener's daughter Plant her tu-lips Where she oughter
Burma-Shave |
Toughest Whiskers In
the town We hold 'em up You mow 'em down Burma-Shave |
These signs Are not
For laughs alone The face they save May be your own
Burma-Shave |
The hero Was brave and
strong And willin' She felt his chin-- Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave |
The safest rule No ifs or
buts Just drive Like every one else Is nuts!
Burma-Shave |
Dinah doesn't Treat him
right But if he'd Shave Dyna-mite! Burma-Shave |
To change that Shaving
job To joy You gotta use The real McCoy Burma-Shave |
The blackened forest
Smoulders yet Because He flipped A cigarette Burma-Shave |
Slow down, Pa Sakes alive
Ma missed signs Four And five Burma-Shave |
Grandpa knows It ain't too
late He's gone To git Some widder bait Burma-Shave |
Free--free A trip To
Mars For 900 Empty jars Burma-Shave |
A Christmas hug A birthday
kiss Awaits The woman Who gives this Burma-Shave |
The big blue tube's Just like
Louise You get A thrill From every squeeze Burma-Shave |
The monkey took One look at
Jim And threw the peanuts Back at him He needed
Burma-Shave |
Substitutes Can let you down
Quicker Than a Strapless gown Burma-Shave |
For shaving comfort Without
A sting That big blue tube Has everything Burma-Shave |
6 million housewives Can't be
wrong Who keep Their husbands Right along in Burma-Shave |
Jar so big Cost so small
Coolest Smoothest Shave of all Burma-Shave |
Try a tube Its cooling
Power Refreshes like An April shower Burma-Shave |
One shave lasts All day
through Face feels Cool and Smoother too Burma-Shave |
Within this vale Of toil
And sin Your head grows bald But not your chin Burma-Shave |
Take Your Time Not
Your life Burma-Shave |
Cattle crossing Means go slow
That old bull Is some Cow's beau Burma-Shave |
Does your husband Misbehave
Grunt and grumble Rant and rave? Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave |
The draftee Tried a tube
And purred Well whaddya know I've been defurred Burma-Shave |
Tho stiff The beard That
Nature gave It shaves Like down with Burma-Shave |
His crop of Whiskers
Needed reaping That's what kept His Lena leaping Burma-Shave |
This cooling shave Will never
fail To stamp Its user First class male Burma-Shave |
Drinking drivers-- Nothing
worse They put The quart Before the hearse Burma-Shave |
Said farmer Brown Who's
bald On top Wish I could Rotate the crop Burma-Shave |
Men With whiskers 'Neath
their noses Oughta have to kiss Like eskimoses Burma-Shave |
Don't Try passing On a
slope Unless you have A periscope Burma-Shave |
Passing cars When you can't
see May get you A glimpse Of eternity Burma-Shave |
Don't leave safety To mere
chance That's why Belts are Sold with pants Burma-Shave |
At a quiz Pa ain't No
whiz But he knows how To keep Ma his Burma-Shave |
Many a forest Used to
stand Where a Lighted match Got out of hand Burma-Shave |
Baby your skin Keep it fitter
Or "baby" Will get Another sitter Burma-Shave |
Use this cream A day Or
two Then don't call her-- She'll call you Burma-Shave |
If daisies Are your
Favorite flower Keep pushin' up those Miles-per-hour
Burma-Shave |
He lit a match To check gas
tank That's why They call him Skinless frank
Burma-Shave |
The poorest guy In the
Human race Can have a Million dollar face Burma-Shave |
The one who Drives when
He's been drinking Depends on you To do his thinking
Burma-Shave |
Hardy men Were the Caesars
Instead of razors They used tweezers Burma Shave |
The midnight Ride of Paul
For beer Led to a warmer Hemishpere Burma Shave |
Henry VIII Sure Had Trouble
Short Term Wives Long Term Stubble Burma Shave |
Don't stick your elbow Out too
far Or it may Go home In another car! Burma Shave |
When passing Through school
zones Please drive slow. Let's let our Little shavers Grow.
Burma Shave |
A Man A Miss A Car A Curve
He kissed the Miss And missed the Curve Burma Shave |
Prickley Pears Are Picked for
Pickles But no Peach Picks A Face that Prickles Burma Shave |
Listen birds These signs cost
money You can rest awhile But don't get Funny Burma Shave |
Thirty days Hath September
April, June, an the Speed Offender. Burma Shave. |
Don't lose your head To save
a minute You need your head Your brains are in it Burma Shave
|
Cattle Crossing Means Go
Slow. That old bull Is some cow's beau. Burma Shave |
Round the curve
Lickety-split Beautiful car Wasn't it? Burma Shave |
Dim your lights Behind a
car Let folks see How bright you are Burma Shave |
The bearded lady Tried a jar
Now she's a famous Movie star Burma Shave |
If you don't know Whose signs
these are You haven't driven Very far! Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna Made a hit
Neglected beard Ben-Anna split. Burma Shave |
Around the
corner Lickety-split Beautiful car Wasn't it? Burma Shave |
They missed the turn The car
went whizzin' The fault was hern The FUNERAL hisn Burma Shave |
A nut at the wheel A peach on
his right A curve in the road Fruit salad that night Burma Shave
|
Angels who guard you When you
drive Usually retire At sixty-five Burma Shave |
He had the ring, He had the
flat, She felt his chin, And that was that. Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna, Made a hit.
She felt his chin. Ben - Anna split. Burma Shave |
Shaving brush, Was like old
Rover. When he died, He died all over. Burma Shave |
For painting cowshed, Barn or
fence, Shaving brush Is just immense. Burma Shave |
Pity all the mighty Caesars.
They pulled each whisker Out with tweezers. Burma Shave |
He played the sax, Had no
B.O. But his whiskers scratched, So she let him go. Burma Shave |
Snake rail fences And old log
houses Both were built, To keep out the cowses Burma Shave |
Bristly beard or silky fuzz,
Shave 'em back, To where they was Burma Shave |
Pink toothbrush Is a curse.
Pink shaving brush Is a darn sight worse. Burma Shave |
College boys, Your courage
muster. Shave off that fuzz And cookie duster. Burma Shave |
Farewell O verse, Along the
road. How sad to see, You're out of mode. Burma Shave |
You can drive A mile a minute
But there is no Future in it. Burma Shave |
Free ! Free ! A trip to
Mars For 500 empty jars Burma-Shave |
Car in ditch Man in tree
Moon was full So was he! Burma Shave |
Dinah doesn't Treat him
right But if he'd shave Dinah-might! Burma Shave |
Substitutes Will let you down
Quicker than A strapless gown Burma Shave |
Don't take A curve at
Sixty per We hate to lose A customer Burma-Shave |
In this vale Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald But not your chin. Burma Shave |
If hugging on Highways Is your
sport Trade in your car For a davenport. Burma Shave |
My cheek Said she Is
smooth as satin Ha Ha Said he That's mine your're pattin' Burma
Shave |
She kissed the hairbrush By
mistake; She thought it was Her husband, Jake Burma Shave |
Don't put your arm out Quite so
far; It might go home In another car Burma Shave |
Proper distance To him was
bunk He ended up In some guy's trunk. Burma Shave. |
A man who passes On hills and
curves Is not a man of iron nerves He's crazy Burma Shave |
Famous words About lights that
shine If he won't dim his I won't dim mine Burma Shave |
Are your whiskers When you
wake Tougher than A two bit steak? Burma Shave |
This shave Is like A
parachute There isn't Any substitute Burma Shave |
The salesman Taught the
Farmer's daughter To plant Her tu-lips Where she otter Burma
Shave |
Be a Noble Not a Knave
Caesar Uses Burma Shave |
Henry the 8th Sure had trouble
Short term wives Long term stubble Burma Shave |
If you must test Her pucker
paint Be sure to drive Where traffic ain't Burma Shave |
Drinking drivers Nothing worse
They put the quart Before the hearse. Burma-Shave |
The Midnight Ride Of Paul for
beer Led to a warmer Hemisphere Burma Shave |
His tenor voice She thought
divine 'Til whiskers scratched Sweet Adeline Burma Shave |
He's the guy The girls forgot
Tho' he was smooth His face was not Burma Shave |
Angels, who guard you While you
drive Usually retire at 55 Burma Shave |
A peach Looks Good With lots
of fuzz Man's no peach And never was Burma Shave |
|