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Remember these? All you classmate remember the Burma Shave signs going out Grand Rapids. Come on think back in time, when we all drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside on the side of the road.  They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet......and the obligatory 5th sign advertising the popular shaving cream, Burma Shave.




Trains don't wander
All over the map
'Cause nobody sits
In the engineer's lap
Burma Shave

She kissed the hairbrush
By mistake
She thought it was
Her husband Jake
Use Burma Shave

Don't lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma Shave



Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next
Is not amusing
Burma Shave

Brother speeder
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning nurse
Burma Shave

Cautious rider 
To her reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And more steer
Burma Shave



Speed was high
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X marks the spot
Burma Shave

The midnight ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere
Burma Shave

Around the curve
Lickety-split
It's a beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave



No matter the price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In the car is you
Burma Shave

A guy who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma Shave

At intersections
Look each way
A harp sounds nice
But it's hard to play
Burma Shave



Both hands on the wheel
Eyes on the road
That's the skillful 
Driver's code
Burma Shave

The one who drives
When he's been drinking
Depends on you
to do his thinking
Burma Shave

Car in ditch
Driver in tree
The moon was full
And so was he
Burma Shave

Passing school zone
Take it slow
Let our little 
Shaver grow
Burma Shave

Don't stick your elbow
Out so far
It might go home
In another car
Burma Shave

Within this vale 
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma Shave

This cream makes
The farmer's daughter
Plant her tulips
Where she autter
Burma Shame

Bring back some memories!

The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive like
Everyone else is nuts
Burma Shave

They're picking up the pieces 
With a shovel and a rake,
He grabbed a silken knee 
When he should have grabbed the brake
Burma Shave


A nut at the wheel,
A peach by his side.
A turn in the road,
Fruit Salad!
Burma Shave 


A peach looks good
With lots of fuzz,
But man's no peach
And never was
Burma Shave

Spring has sprung
The grass has riz
Where last years
Careless driver is.
Burma Shave

Rip a fender 
Off your car
Send it in 
For a half pound jar 
Burma Shave 

Birdie birdie in the sky
Dropping whitewash in my eye
Gee I'm glad 
That cows can't fly
Burma Shave

Drunken drivers
Enhance their chance
To hiball home
In an ambulance
Burma Shave

Pity all
The mighty Caesars
They pulled each whisker
Out with tweezers.
Burma Shave

If necking while driving
Is your sport
Trade in your car
For a Davenport
Burma Shave

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed
He watched the ad
And not the road
Burma Shave

Round the bend
Lickety split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it
Burma Shave

Our cream is like
A parachute
There isn't
Any substitute
Burma Shave

Thirty Days
Hath September
April, June,
And the speed offender
Burma Shave

   Although insured
Remember kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay your widow
Burma Shave

A man a miss
A car a curve
He kissed the miss
And missed the curve
Burma Shave

He Lit A Match
To Check His Tank
That's Why They Call Him
Skinless Frank 
Burma Shave

His tenor voice
She thought divine
Til his whiskers scratched
Sweet Adeline
Burma Shave

Don't go passing
On a slope
Unless you have 
A periscope
Burma Shave

Big mistake
Many make
Rely on horn
Instead of brake 
Burma Shave

Car in ditch
Driver in tree
The moon was full
And so was he
Burma Shave

Women leap 
From fire escapes
To get away
From hairy apes
Burma Shave

Angels who guard you
When you Drive
Usually Retire
At 65
Burma  Shave

He saw the train
And tried to duck it
kicked first the gas
And then the bucket
Burma  Shave

Cattle crossing 
Means go slow 
That old Bull 
Is some cow's beau
Burma Shave

Tempted to try It
Follow your hunch
Be top banana
Not one of the bunch
Burma Shave

Dim your lights 
Behind a car
Let folks see
How bright YOU are!
Burma Shave

Henry the Eighth
Sure had trouble
Short term wives
Long term stubble
Burma Shave

Train wrecks few
Reason clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shave

Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave






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We hope these bring back memories?? Click into "Share your Comments" and let us know what your memories are. I can remember my Dad taking us for Sunday afternoon drives and we always looked for the Burma Shave signs....and we had to read them out loud!





His cheek
Was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave
The place to pass
On curves
You know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave
On curves ahead
Remember, sonny
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save
The bunny
Burma-Shave
Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed car
We all wonder
WHERE you are
Burma-Shave
These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave
A guy
Who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma-Shave
A whiskery kiss
For the one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave
His brush is gone
So what'll we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave
If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave
When Super-shaved
Remember, pard
You'll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave
Burma-Shave
Was such a boom
They passed
The bride
And kissed the groom
To kiss
A mug
That's like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave
The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
Candidate says
Campaign
Confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I've been using
Burma-Shave
My job is
Keeping faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble
I've seen
Burma-Shave
Doesn't
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave
No use
Knowing
How to pick 'em
If your half-shaved Whiskers stick 'em
Burma-Shave
He tried
To cross
As fast train neared
Death didn't draft him
He volunteered
Burma-Shave
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had
Ben Her
Burma-Shave
She will
Flood your face
With kisses 'Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave Lotion
Use Burma-Shave
In tube
Or jar
Then follow up
With our new star
Burma-Shave Lotion
It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts
The day off
With a bang Burma-Shave
Lotion
Bracing as
An ocean breeze
For after shaving
It's sure
To please
Burma-Shave Lotion
For early
Morning
Pep and bounce
A brand new product
We announce
Burma-Shave Lotion
The ladies
Take one whiff
And purr--
It's no wonder
Men prefer
Burma-Shave Lotion
His face
Was smooth
And cool as ice
And oh! Louise!
He smelled so nice
Burma-Shave Lotion
I'd heard it praised
By drug store clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog!
It works
Burma-Shave
Train wrecks few
Reason clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shave
Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave
Train approaching
Whistle squealing
Pause!
Avoid that
Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave
Soap
May do
For lads with fuzz
But sir, you ain't
The kid you wuz
Burma-Shave
Spring
Has sprung
The grass has riz
Where last year's
Careless drivers is
Burma-Shave
Cautious rider
To her
Reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave
Big blue tube
It's a honey
Best squeeze play
For love
Or money
Burma-Shave
Proper
Distance
To him was bunk
They pulled him out
Of some guy's trunk
Burma-Shave
My cheek
Says she
Feels smooth as satin
Ha! Ha! Says he
That's mine you're pattin'
Burma-Shave
She eyed
His beard
And said no dice
The wedding's off--
I'll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave
Unless
Your face
Is stinger free
You'd better let
Your honey be
Burma-Shave
Another
Red skin
Bit the dust
When Pa tried
What these signs discussed
Burma-Shave
The band
For which
The grand stand roots
Is not made up of
Substi-toots!
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Can do
More harm
Than city fellers
On a farm
Burma-Shave
Pat's bristles
Scratched
Bridget's nose
That's when
Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave
A beard
That's rough
And overgrown
Is better than
A chaperone
Burma-Shave
The hobo
Lets his
Whiskers sprout
It's trains--not girls
That he takes out
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers
Don't you know
Great bangs
From little
Binges grow?
Burma-Shave
I know
He's a wolf
Said riding hood
But Grandma dear,
He smells so good
Burma-Shave
The wife
Who keeps on
Being kissed
Always heads
Her shopping list
Burma-Shave
Is he
Lonesome
Or just blind--
This guy who drives
So close behind?
Burma-Shave
Pedro
Walked
Back home by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave
Missin' Kissin'?
Perhaps your thrush
Can't get thru
The underbrush--try
Burma-Shave
Clancy's
Whiskers
Tickle Nancy
Nancy lowered the boom
On Clancy!
Burma-Shave
A chin
Where barbed wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma'ams land
Burma-Shave
Leaves
Face soft
As woman's touch
Yet doesn't cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave
We can't
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave
The wolf
Is shaved
So neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave
Relief
For faces
Chapped and sore
Keeps 'em comin'
Back for more
Burma-Shave
His
Tomato
Was the mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave
Heaven's
Latest
Neophyte
Signalled left
Then turned right
Burma-Shave
Better try
Less speed per mile
That car
May have to
Last a while
Burma-Shave
To steal
A kiss
He had the knack
But lacked the cheek
To get one back
Burma-Shave
We've made
Grandpa
Look so trim
The local
Draft board's after him
Burma-Shave
Why is it
When you
Try to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast?
Burma-Shave
His rose
Is wed
His violet blew
But his sugar is sweet
Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave
She put
A bullet
Thru his hat
But he's had
Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave
5-star
Generals
Privates 1st class
Show equal rank
In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave
When you lay
Those few cents down You've bought
The smoothest
Shave in town
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Are like a girdle
They find some jobs
They just
Can't hurdle
Burma-Shave
We're widely read
And often quoted
But it's shaves
Not signs
For which we're noted
Burma-Shave
Men who
Have to
Travel light
Find the 35 cent tube
Just right
Burma-Shave
It gave
McDonald
That needed charm
Hello Hollywood
Good-by farm
Burma-Shave
A shave
That's real
No cuts to heal
A soothing
Velvet after-feel
Burma-Shave
Around
The curve
Lickety-split
It's a beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma-Shave
Our fortune
Is your
Shaven face
It's our best
Advertising space
Burma-Shave
If Crusoe'd
Kept his chin
More tidy
He might have found
A lady Friday
Burma-Shave
Feel your face
As you ride by
Now don't
You think
It's time to try
Burma-Shave
If anything
Will please
Your Jill
A little jack
For this jar will
Burma-Shave
That barefoot
Chap
With cheeks of tan
Won't let 'em chap
When he's a man
Burma-Shave
If variety
Is what
You crave
Then get
A tuba
Burma-Shave
The bearded devil
Is forced
To dwell
In the only place
Where they don't sell
Burma-Shave
"No, no,"
She said
To her bristly beau
"I'd rather
Eat the mistletoe"
Burma-Shave
No matter
The price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In your car is you
Burma-Shave
He asked
His kitten
To pet and purr
She eyed his puss
And screamed
"What fur!"
Burma-Shave
This cream
Makes the
Gardener's daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave
Toughest
Whiskers
In the town
We hold 'em up
You mow 'em down
Burma-Shave
These signs
Are not
For laughs alone
The face they save
May be your own
Burma-Shave
The hero
Was brave and strong
And willin'
She felt his chin--
Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave
The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive
Like every one else
Is nuts!
Burma-Shave
Dinah doesn't
Treat him right
But if he'd
Shave
Dyna-mite!
Burma-Shave
To change that
Shaving job
To joy
You gotta use
The real McCoy
Burma-Shave
The blackened forest
Smoulders yet
Because
He flipped
A cigarette
Burma-Shave
Slow down, Pa
Sakes alive
Ma missed signs
Four And five
Burma-Shave
Grandpa knows
It ain't too late
He's gone
To git
Some widder bait
Burma-Shave
Free--free
A trip
To Mars
For 900
Empty jars
Burma-Shave
A Christmas hug
A birthday kiss
Awaits
The woman
Who gives this
Burma-Shave
The big blue tube's
Just like Louise
You get
A thrill
From every squeeze
Burma-Shave
The monkey took
One look at Jim
And threw the peanuts
Back at him
He needed
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Can let you down
Quicker
Than a
Strapless gown
Burma-Shave
For shaving comfort
Without
A sting
That big blue tube
Has everything
Burma-Shave
6 million housewives
Can't be wrong
Who keep
Their husbands
Right along in
Burma-Shave
Jar so big
Cost so small
Coolest
Smoothest
Shave of all
Burma-Shave
Try a tube
Its cooling
Power
Refreshes like
An April shower
Burma-Shave
One shave lasts
All day through
Face feels
Cool and
Smoother too
Burma-Shave
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma-Shave
Take
Your
Time
Not
Your life
Burma-Shave
Cattle crossing
Means go slow
That old bull
Is some
Cow's beau
Burma-Shave
Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave
The draftee
Tried a tube
And purred
Well whaddya know
I've been defurred
Burma-Shave
Tho stiff
The beard
That Nature gave
It shaves
Like down with
Burma-Shave
His crop of
Whiskers
Needed reaping
That's what kept
His Lena leaping
Burma-Shave
This cooling shave
Will never fail
To stamp
Its user
First class male
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers--
Nothing worse
They put
The quart
Before the hearse
Burma-Shave
Said farmer Brown
Who's bald
On top
Wish I could
Rotate the crop
Burma-Shave
Men
With whiskers
'Neath their noses
Oughta have to kiss
Like eskimoses
Burma-Shave
Don't
Try passing
On a slope
Unless you have
A periscope
Burma-Shave
Passing cars
When you can't see
May get you
A glimpse
Of eternity
Burma-Shave
Don't leave safety
To mere chance
That's why
Belts are
Sold with pants
Burma-Shave
At a quiz
Pa ain't
No whiz
But he knows how
To keep Ma his
Burma-Shave
Many a forest
Used to stand
Where a
Lighted match
Got out of hand
Burma-Shave
Baby your skin
Keep it fitter
Or "baby"
Will get
Another sitter
Burma-Shave
Use this cream
A day
Or two
Then don't call her--
She'll call you
Burma-Shave
If daisies
Are your
Favorite flower
Keep pushin' up those
Miles-per-hour
Burma-Shave
He lit a match
To check gas tank
That's why
They call him
Skinless frank
Burma-Shave
The poorest guy
In the
Human race
Can have a
Million dollar face
Burma-Shave
The one who
Drives when
He's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking
Burma-Shave
Hardy men
Were the Caesars
Instead of razors
They used tweezers
Burma Shave
The midnight
Ride of Paul
For beer
Led to a warmer
Hemishpere
Burma Shave
Henry VIII
Sure Had Trouble
Short Term Wives
Long Term Stubble
Burma Shave
Don't stick your elbow
Out too far
Or it may
Go home
In another car!
Burma Shave
When passing
Through school zones
Please drive slow.
Let's let our
Little shavers
Grow.
Burma Shave
A Man A Miss
A Car A Curve
He kissed the Miss
And missed the Curve
Burma Shave
Prickley Pears
Are Picked for Pickles
But no Peach Picks
A Face that Prickles
Burma Shave
Listen birds
These signs cost money
You can rest awhile
But don't get Funny
Burma Shave
Thirty days
Hath September
April, June,
an the Speed Offender.
Burma Shave.
Don't lose your head
To save a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma Shave
Cattle Crossing
Means Go Slow.
That old bull
Is some cow's beau.
Burma Shave
Round the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave
Dim your lights
Behind a car
Let folks see
How bright you are
Burma Shave
The bearded lady
Tried a jar
Now she's a famous
Movie star
Burma Shave
If you don't know
Whose signs these are
You haven't driven
Very far!
Burma Shave
Ben met Anna
Made a hit
Neglected beard
Ben-Anna split.
Burma Shave
Around the corner
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave
They missed the turn
The car went whizzin'
The fault was hern
The FUNERAL hisn
Burma Shave
A nut at the wheel
A peach on his right
A curve in the road
Fruit salad that night
Burma Shave
Angels who guard you
When you drive
Usually retire
At sixty-five
Burma Shave
He had the ring,
He had the flat,
She felt his chin,
And that was that.
Burma Shave
Ben met Anna,
Made a hit.
She felt his chin.
Ben - Anna split.
Burma Shave
Shaving brush,
Was like old Rover.
When he died,
He died all over.
Burma Shave
For painting cowshed,
Barn or fence,
Shaving brush
Is just immense.
Burma Shave
Pity all the mighty Caesars.
They pulled each whisker
Out with tweezers.
Burma Shave
He played the sax,
Had no B.O.
But his whiskers scratched,
So she let him go.
Burma Shave
Snake rail fences
And old log houses
Both were built,
To keep out the cowses
Burma Shave
Bristly beard or silky fuzz,
Shave 'em back,
To where they was
Burma Shave
Pink toothbrush
Is a curse.
Pink shaving brush
Is a darn sight worse.
Burma Shave
College boys,
Your courage muster.
Shave off that fuzz
And cookie duster.
Burma Shave
Farewell O verse,
Along the road.
How sad to see,
You're out of mode.
Burma Shave
You can drive
A mile a minute
But there is no
Future in it.
Burma Shave
Free !
Free !
A trip to Mars
For 500 empty jars
Burma-Shave
Car in ditch
Man in tree
Moon was full
So was he!
Burma Shave
Dinah doesn't
Treat him right
But if he'd shave
Dinah-might!
Burma Shave
Substitutes
Will let you down
Quicker than
A strapless gown
Burma Shave
Don't take
A curve at
Sixty per
We hate to lose
A customer
Burma-Shave
In this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin.
Burma Shave
If hugging on Highways
Is your sport
Trade in your car
For a davenport.
Burma Shave
My cheek
Said she
Is smooth as satin
Ha Ha Said he
That's mine your're pattin'
Burma Shave
She kissed the hairbrush
By mistake;
She thought it was
Her husband, Jake
Burma Shave
Don't put your arm out
Quite so far;
It might go home
In another car
Burma Shave
Proper distance
To him was bunk
He ended up
In some guy's trunk.
Burma Shave.
A man who passes
On hills and curves
Is not a man of iron nerves
He's crazy
Burma Shave
Famous words
About lights that shine
If he won't dim his
I won't dim mine
Burma Shave
Are your whiskers
When you wake
Tougher than
A two bit steak?
Burma Shave
This shave
Is like
A parachute
There isn't
Any substitute
Burma Shave
The salesman
Taught the
Farmer's daughter
To plant
Her tu-lips
Where she otter
Burma Shave
Be a Noble
Not a Knave
Caesar Uses
Burma Shave
Henry the 8th
Sure had trouble
Short term wives
Long term stubble
Burma Shave
If you must test
Her pucker paint
Be sure to drive
Where traffic ain't
Burma Shave
Drinking drivers
Nothing worse
They put the quart
Before the hearse.
Burma-Shave
The Midnight Ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere
Burma Shave
His tenor voice
She thought divine
'Til whiskers scratched
Sweet Adeline
Burma Shave
He's the guy
The girls forgot
Tho' he was smooth
His face was not
Burma Shave
Angels, who guard you
While you drive
Usually retire at 55
Burma Shave
A peach
Looks Good
With lots of fuzz
Man's no peach
And never was
Burma Shave
 


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Last Modified May 22, 2004