His cheek
Was rough
His
chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave |
The place to pass
On curves
You know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave |
On curves ahead
Remember,
sonny
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save
The bunny
Burma-Shave |
Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed
car
We all wonder
WHERE you are
Burma-Shave |
These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave |
A guy
Who drives
A car
wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma-Shave |
A whiskery kiss
For the
one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave |
His brush is gone
So what'll
we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave |
If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave |
When Super-shaved
Remember,
pard
You'll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave |
Burma-Shave
Was such a boom
They passed
The bride
And kissed the groom |
To kiss
A mug
That's
like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave |
The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave |
Violets are blue
Roses are
pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
|
Candidate says
Campaign
Confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I've been using
Burma-Shave |
My job is
Keeping faces
clean
And nobody knows
De stubble
I've seen
Burma-Shave |
Doesn't
Kiss you
Like
she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave |
No use
Knowing
How to
pick 'em
If your half-shaved Whiskers stick 'em
Burma-Shave |
He tried
To cross
As
fast train neared
Death didn't draft him
He volunteered
Burma-Shave |
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had
Ben Her
Burma-Shave |
She will
Flood your face
With kisses 'Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave
Lotion |
Use Burma-Shave
In tube
Or jar
Then follow up
With our new star
Burma-Shave
Lotion |
It has a tingle
And a
tang
That starts
The day off
With a bang Burma-Shave
Lotion
|
Bracing as
An ocean
breeze
For after shaving
It's sure
To please
Burma-Shave Lotion
|
For early
Morning
Pep
and bounce
A brand new product
We announce
Burma-Shave Lotion
|
The ladies
Take one whiff
And purr--
It's no wonder
Men prefer
Burma-Shave
Lotion |
His face
Was smooth
And
cool as ice
And oh! Louise!
He smelled so nice
Burma-Shave
Lotion |
I'd heard it praised
By
drug store clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog!
It works
Burma-Shave |
Train wrecks few
Reason
clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shave |
Altho insured
Remember,
kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave
|
Train approaching
Whistle
squealing
Pause!
Avoid that
Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave |
Soap
May do
For lads
with fuzz
But sir, you ain't
The kid you wuz
Burma-Shave |
Spring
Has sprung
The
grass has riz
Where last year's
Careless drivers is
Burma-Shave |
Cautious rider
To her
Reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave |
Big blue tube
It's a
honey
Best squeeze play
For love
Or money
Burma-Shave |
Proper
Distance
To him
was bunk
They pulled him out
Of some guy's trunk
Burma-Shave |
My cheek
Says she
Feels smooth as satin
Ha! Ha! Says he
That's mine you're pattin'
Burma-Shave |
She eyed
His beard
And
said no dice
The wedding's off--
I'll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave |
Unless
Your face
Is
stinger free
You'd better let
Your honey be
Burma-Shave |
Another
Red skin
Bit
the dust
When Pa tried
What these signs discussed
Burma-Shave |
The band
For which
The
grand stand roots
Is not made up of
Substi-toots!
Burma-Shave |
Substitutes
Can do
More harm
Than city fellers
On a farm
Burma-Shave |
Pat's bristles
Scratched
Bridget's nose
That's when
Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave |
A beard
That's rough
And
overgrown
Is better than
A chaperone
Burma-Shave |
The hobo
Lets his
Whiskers sprout
It's trains--not girls
That he takes out
Burma-Shave |
Drinking drivers
Don't you
know
Great bangs
From little
Binges grow?
Burma-Shave |
I know
He's a wolf
Said riding hood
But Grandma dear,
He smells so good
Burma-Shave |
The wife
Who keeps on
Being kissed
Always heads
Her shopping list
Burma-Shave |
Is he
Lonesome
Or just
blind--
This guy who drives
So close behind?
Burma-Shave |
Pedro
Walked
Back home
by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave |
Missin' Kissin'?
Perhaps
your thrush
Can't get thru
The underbrush--try
Burma-Shave |
Clancy's
Whiskers
Tickle Nancy
Nancy lowered the boom
On Clancy!
Burma-Shave |
A chin
Where barbed
wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma'ams land
Burma-Shave |
Leaves
Face soft
As
woman's touch
Yet doesn't cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave |
We can't
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave
|
The wolf
Is shaved
So
neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave |
Relief
For faces
Chapped and sore
Keeps 'em comin'
Back for more
Burma-Shave |
His
Tomato
Was the
mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave |
Heaven's
Latest
Neophyte
Signalled left
Then turned right
Burma-Shave |
Better try
Less speed per
mile
That car
May have to
Last a while
Burma-Shave |
To steal
A kiss
He had
the knack
But lacked the cheek
To get one back
Burma-Shave |
We've made
Grandpa
Look
so trim
The local
Draft board's after him
Burma-Shave |
Why is it
When you
Try
to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast?
Burma-Shave |
His rose
Is wed
His
violet blew
But his sugar is sweet
Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave |
She put
A bullet
Thru
his hat
But he's had
Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave |
5-star
Generals
Privates 1st class
Show equal rank
In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave |
When you lay
Those few cents
down You've bought
The smoothest
Shave in town
Burma-Shave |
Substitutes
Are like a
girdle
They find some jobs
They just
Can't hurdle
Burma-Shave |
We're widely read
And often
quoted
But it's shaves
Not signs
For which we're noted
Burma-Shave |
Men who
Have to
Travel
light
Find the 35 cent tube
Just right
Burma-Shave |
It gave
McDonald
That
needed charm
Hello Hollywood
Good-by farm
Burma-Shave |
A shave
That's real
No
cuts to heal
A soothing
Velvet after-feel
Burma-Shave |
Around
The curve
Lickety-split
It's a beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma-Shave |
Our fortune
Is your
Shaven face
It's our best
Advertising space
Burma-Shave |
If Crusoe'd
Kept his chin
More tidy
He might have found
A lady Friday
Burma-Shave |
Feel your face
As you ride
by
Now don't
You think
It's time to try
Burma-Shave |
If anything
Will please
Your Jill
A little jack
For this jar will
Burma-Shave |
That barefoot
Chap
With cheeks of tan
Won't let 'em chap
When he's a man
Burma-Shave |
If variety
Is what
You
crave
Then get
A tuba
Burma-Shave |
The bearded devil
Is forced
To dwell
In the only place
Where they don't sell
Burma-Shave
|
"No, no,"
She said
To
her bristly beau
"I'd rather
Eat the mistletoe"
Burma-Shave |
No matter
The price
No
matter how new
The best safety device
In your car is you
Burma-Shave |
He asked
His kitten
To
pet and purr
She eyed his puss
And screamed
"What fur!"
Burma-Shave |
This cream
Makes the
Gardener's daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave |
Toughest
Whiskers
In
the town
We hold 'em up
You mow 'em down
Burma-Shave |
These signs
Are not
For laughs alone
The face they save
May be your own
Burma-Shave |
The hero
Was brave and
strong
And willin'
She felt his chin--
Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave |
The safest rule
No ifs or
buts
Just drive
Like every one else
Is nuts!
Burma-Shave |
Dinah doesn't
Treat him
right
But if he'd
Shave
Dyna-mite!
Burma-Shave |
To change that
Shaving
job
To joy
You gotta use
The real McCoy
Burma-Shave |
The blackened forest
Smoulders yet
Because
He flipped
A cigarette
Burma-Shave |
Slow down, Pa
Sakes alive
Ma missed signs
Four And five
Burma-Shave |
Grandpa knows
It ain't too
late
He's gone
To git
Some widder bait
Burma-Shave |
Free--free
A trip
To
Mars
For 900
Empty jars
Burma-Shave |
A Christmas hug
A birthday
kiss
Awaits
The woman
Who gives this
Burma-Shave |
The big blue tube's
Just like
Louise
You get
A thrill
From every squeeze
Burma-Shave |
The monkey took
One look at
Jim
And threw the peanuts
Back at him
He needed
Burma-Shave |
Substitutes
Can let you down
Quicker
Than a
Strapless gown
Burma-Shave |
For shaving comfort
Without
A sting
That big blue tube
Has everything
Burma-Shave |
6 million housewives
Can't be
wrong
Who keep
Their husbands
Right along in
Burma-Shave |
Jar so big
Cost so small
Coolest
Smoothest
Shave of all
Burma-Shave |
Try a tube
Its cooling
Power
Refreshes like
An April shower
Burma-Shave |
One shave lasts
All day
through
Face feels
Cool and
Smoother too
Burma-Shave |
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma-Shave |
Take
Your
Time
Not
Your life
Burma-Shave |
Cattle crossing
Means go slow
That old bull
Is some
Cow's beau
Burma-Shave |
Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave |
The draftee
Tried a tube
And purred
Well whaddya know
I've been defurred
Burma-Shave |
Tho stiff
The beard
That
Nature gave
It shaves
Like down with
Burma-Shave |
His crop of
Whiskers
Needed reaping
That's what kept
His Lena leaping
Burma-Shave |
This cooling shave
Will never
fail
To stamp
Its user
First class male
Burma-Shave |
Drinking drivers--
Nothing
worse
They put
The quart
Before the hearse
Burma-Shave |
Said farmer Brown
Who's
bald
On top
Wish I could
Rotate the crop
Burma-Shave |
Men
With whiskers
'Neath
their noses
Oughta have to kiss
Like eskimoses
Burma-Shave |
Don't
Try passing
On a
slope
Unless you have
A periscope
Burma-Shave |
Passing cars
When you can't
see
May get you
A glimpse
Of eternity
Burma-Shave |
Don't leave safety
To mere
chance
That's why
Belts are
Sold with pants
Burma-Shave |
At a quiz
Pa ain't
No
whiz
But he knows how
To keep Ma his
Burma-Shave |
Many a forest
Used to
stand
Where a
Lighted match
Got out of hand
Burma-Shave |
Baby your skin
Keep it fitter
Or "baby"
Will get
Another sitter
Burma-Shave |
Use this cream
A day
Or
two
Then don't call her--
She'll call you
Burma-Shave |
If daisies
Are your
Favorite flower
Keep pushin' up those
Miles-per-hour
Burma-Shave |
He lit a match
To check gas
tank
That's why
They call him
Skinless frank
Burma-Shave |
The poorest guy
In the
Human race
Can have a
Million dollar face
Burma-Shave |
The one who
Drives when
He's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking
Burma-Shave |
Hardy men
Were the Caesars
Instead of razors
They used tweezers
Burma Shave |
The midnight
Ride of Paul
For beer
Led to a warmer
Hemishpere
Burma Shave |
Henry VIII
Sure Had Trouble
Short Term Wives
Long Term Stubble
Burma Shave |
Don't stick your elbow
Out too
far
Or it may
Go home
In another car!
Burma Shave |
When passing
Through school
zones
Please drive slow.
Let's let our
Little shavers
Grow.
Burma Shave |
A Man A Miss
A Car A Curve
He kissed the Miss
And missed the Curve
Burma Shave |
Prickley Pears
Are Picked for
Pickles
But no Peach Picks
A Face that Prickles
Burma Shave |
Listen birds
These signs cost
money
You can rest awhile
But don't get Funny
Burma Shave |
Thirty days
Hath September
April, June,
an the Speed Offender.
Burma Shave. |
Don't lose your head
To save
a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma Shave
|
Cattle Crossing
Means Go
Slow.
That old bull
Is some cow's beau.
Burma Shave |
Round the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave |
Dim your lights
Behind a
car
Let folks see
How bright you are
Burma Shave |
The bearded lady
Tried a jar
Now she's a famous
Movie star
Burma Shave |
If you don't know
Whose signs
these are
You haven't driven
Very far!
Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna
Made a hit
Neglected beard
Ben-Anna split.
Burma Shave |
Around the
corner
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave |
They missed the turn
The car
went whizzin'
The fault was hern
The FUNERAL hisn
Burma Shave |
A nut at the wheel
A peach on
his right
A curve in the road
Fruit salad that night
Burma Shave
|
Angels who guard you
When you
drive
Usually retire
At sixty-five
Burma Shave |
He had the ring,
He had the
flat,
She felt his chin,
And that was that.
Burma Shave |
Ben met Anna,
Made a hit.
She felt his chin.
Ben - Anna split.
Burma Shave |
Shaving brush,
Was like old
Rover.
When he died,
He died all over.
Burma Shave |
For painting cowshed,
Barn or
fence,
Shaving brush
Is just immense.
Burma Shave |
Pity all the mighty Caesars.
They pulled each whisker
Out with tweezers.
Burma Shave |
He played the sax,
Had no
B.O.
But his whiskers scratched,
So she let him go.
Burma Shave |
Snake rail fences
And old log
houses
Both were built,
To keep out the cowses
Burma Shave |
Bristly beard or silky fuzz,
Shave 'em back,
To where they was
Burma Shave |
Pink toothbrush
Is a curse.
Pink shaving brush
Is a darn sight worse.
Burma Shave |
College boys,
Your courage
muster.
Shave off that fuzz
And cookie duster.
Burma Shave |
Farewell O verse,
Along the
road.
How sad to see,
You're out of mode.
Burma Shave |
You can drive
A mile a minute
But there is no
Future in it.
Burma Shave |
Free !
Free !
A trip to
Mars
For 500 empty jars
Burma-Shave |
Car in ditch
Man in tree
Moon was full
So was he!
Burma Shave |
Dinah doesn't
Treat him
right
But if he'd shave
Dinah-might!
Burma Shave |
Substitutes
Will let you down
Quicker than
A strapless gown
Burma Shave |
Don't take
A curve at
Sixty per
We hate to lose
A customer
Burma-Shave |
In this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin.
Burma Shave |
If hugging on Highways
Is your
sport
Trade in your car
For a davenport.
Burma Shave |
My cheek
Said she
Is
smooth as satin
Ha Ha Said he
That's mine your're pattin'
Burma
Shave |
She kissed the hairbrush
By
mistake;
She thought it was
Her husband, Jake
Burma Shave |
Don't put your arm out
Quite so
far;
It might go home
In another car
Burma Shave |
Proper distance
To him was
bunk
He ended up
In some guy's trunk.
Burma Shave. |
A man who passes
On hills and
curves
Is not a man of iron nerves
He's crazy
Burma Shave |
Famous words
About lights that
shine
If he won't dim his
I won't dim mine
Burma Shave |
Are your whiskers
When you
wake
Tougher than
A two bit steak?
Burma Shave |
This shave
Is like
A
parachute
There isn't
Any substitute
Burma Shave |
The salesman
Taught the
Farmer's daughter
To plant
Her tu-lips
Where she otter
Burma
Shave |
Be a Noble
Not a Knave
Caesar Uses
Burma Shave |
Henry the 8th
Sure had trouble
Short term wives
Long term stubble
Burma Shave |
If you must test
Her pucker
paint
Be sure to drive
Where traffic ain't
Burma Shave |
Drinking drivers
Nothing worse
They put the quart
Before the hearse.
Burma-Shave |
The Midnight Ride
Of Paul for
beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere
Burma Shave |
His tenor voice
She thought
divine
'Til whiskers scratched
Sweet Adeline
Burma Shave |
He's the guy
The girls forgot
Tho' he was smooth
His face was not
Burma Shave |
Angels, who guard you
While you
drive
Usually retire at 55
Burma Shave |
A peach
Looks Good
With lots
of fuzz
Man's no peach
And never was
Burma Shave |
|
